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The lure of indistinguishability

All my life I have wanted to blend in. I have wanted to be understood, to feel safe, to be able to tolerate a bit of vulnerability without needing to retreat for days to recover, and to be accepted for who I am. I have tried so hard to look the part, talk the talk, be one of the gang. It’s possible people do actually perceive that I have achieved that, but in my mind I have not. I have always still felt on the outside and uncomfortable, no matter what I have done to fit in. Continue reading

The letter I wish I had read when my children were diagnosed with Autism

From time to time, I notice a resurgence of the “letter to the new ‘autism parent’ from the experienced one” sort of articles in the blog/facebook world.

I get why these posts are popular. When your child is identified as autistic, it seems expected that people go through a period of feeling sad and overwhelmed. These letters tend to focus on that and give strategies to deal with the “awfulness” that life is with an Autistic child. Continue reading